Porn for political types… VSFW (Very Safe For Work)

Speaking of fantasies… I’d like to share some of mine. Now that we are in the midst of primary season I thought it would be fun to talk about what I would do if I accidentally tripped onto a ballot and somehow ended up running things… of course by laying out the actual elements of my platform I’m essentially eliminating any chance of actually ever getting elected to anything short of dog catcher.

The first thing I would do is eliminate the Department of Education. Our republic was founded on the idea that each state would operate as its own testing ground for new ideas and over time the most successful ideas would emerge and be adopted by the other states. What we have now is just about the opposite where there seems to be a DOE directed race to the bottom.

Next I’d give the President a line item veto, via a Constitutional amendment of course.

I’d immediately increase the H-1B visa program to 1 million per year. The people who come to the United States under this program are some of the smartest and most productive people on the planet and I’d just as soon have them working for and starting companies here in the United States as opposed to somewhere else.

I’d sell Amtrak and open the Post Office operations to competitive bidding.

I’d repeal the 16th Amendment (the one that gave us the income tax) and institute the Fair Tax. What a bonanza this would be: we eliminate the IRS, the estate tax, capital gains taxes and free up the hundreds of billions of dollars a year individuals and corporations waste on tax accounting and compliance. Not only that, but trillions of dollars would come flowing into the country in the form investments and repatriated profits. While I was at it I’d repeal the 17th as well.

I’d repeal Executive Order 10988, JFK’s directive that allowed federal employees unionize. This example of Executive hubris is more responsible for the fiscal and financial disasters besetting the federal, state and local governments than perhaps any other single piece of government action in the last 50 years.

I’d begin the process of privatizing Social Security and eventually Medicare and Medicaid as well. Chile did it.

In my kingdom drugs and prostitution would be legal. While I abhor both, adults should be free to do with their bodies what they choose, assuming they are not harming anyone else.

Speaking of individual responsibility… the penalty for drunk driving would be a mandatory one year in prison for the first offense, a decade for the second and life for the third. Causing a fatality due to driving drunk would be a capital offense.

I’d open up ANWR for drilling, increase shale oil extraction throughout the west and dramatically expand nuclear power.

Taking a great idea from Neal Boortz, I’d eliminate food stamps and replace them with a mail order food service where MRE’s are delivered to recipients once a week. If Nutrisystem can run a great a great program profitably, why can’t they be contracted to run this system? Given that they are a diet company, as an added bonus we’d fight the obesity epidemic we’re constantly hearing about.

I’d build a wall from Brownsville, Texas to San Diego California.

I’d put the entire federal government on zero based budgeting. This means that every single department would have to explain exactly why they needed every dollar they requested… every year. This would also apply to our contributions to international organizations such as the United Nations, the IMF and the World Bank. I’d even consider withdrawing from the UN and kicking them out of the country altogether.

I’d eliminate PBS, the National Endowment for the Arts and slash the power of the FCC, EPA, NLRB and dozens of other federal agencies.

There would be no more “too big to fail” doctrine. Companies would live or die on their ability to please customers and make money for their shareholders. I’d also consider eliminating the Federal Reserve, or at a minimum, overhauling it. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac would be history too.

I would outlaw all federally mandated affirmative action programs and eliminate union hiring or salary requirements in all government contracting.

I’d throw out McCain Feingold and Sarbanes Oxley. I’d allow unlimited political contributions but require crystal clear transparency.

I’d throw out ObamaCare.

I’d eliminate the Department of Energy and institute a 50% cut in the budget of every remaining department except DHS and the Defense Department.

I’d implement a loser pays legal structure so that slip and fall lawyers and “community organizers” could no longer use the court system as a club with which to intimidate or bludgeon American businesses.

I’d work to get the free trade pact with Columbia passed and work to bring about the successful conclusion of the Doha round of trade negotiations.

I’d eliminate every farming subsidy and do away with ethanol requirements.

And then there is the War against Islamo fascism, but that’s a whole different column.

I realize on the titillation scale this fantasy comes in pretty low. Nonetheless I hope to see a few of these items actually implemented when the Tea Party revolution hits the ballot boxes in November. I guess that is what they mean when they say reality is better than fantasy.